When I was 10 my little girl cat, Billie, gave birth to a litter of 4 kittens, in my bedroom! One of those kittens was tiny and she wouldn't help him feed and the other kittens just bullied him out of the way. He was the runt of the litter. I named him Reggie. He was a beautiful light grey tabby cat, with a peach colour on his belly. I had not then seen a cat that colour, and don't think I will again, but he was beautiful. My mother decided that he needed some help with feeding or he would die, so she nustled him between her (rather large) boobs and fed him from there with a little bottle. He stayed there for quite some time, being all warm and cosy and safe, and eating which was the main thing. He eventually turned into a little feisty boy, playing with the other kittens. Then, a couple of months later, I went on a school trip for a week. I spent most nights on the phone to my parents begging them not to let Reggie go with the other kittens to new homes. I was desperate not to see him go as he had already made such a big impact on me, and me on him too I still believe.

When I came back, I was overjoyed to see he was still there waiting for me.

Over the years, he became my firm favourite and I was definitely [his] favourite out of the family too. If I was on the sofa, he was laid out on top of me. If I was in the garden, he was with me. When I went to sleep, he used to sneak up with me to get on my bed. It was like that until I was 19 and decided to go to Spain to work for 4 months. At that point in life we had 4 cats. I loved all of them but Reggie had the special spot in my heart. I missed him terribly and even made friends with some Spanish Ferrals in the interim just to try and get some kind of cat affection back. When my mum picked me up from the airport and took me home, I walked through the door and all my cats were sound asleep on the sofa. I turned to say hi to my dad and with that, just one word from my mouth, they all 4 woke up and bolted over to me, pushing each other for my attention and making loads of noise. My mum told me that they had to keep my bedroom door open whilst I was away because when it was shut, all Reggie did was sit outside the door howling to get in there. I was so pleased on the inside that my babies, especially my baby boy had been so happy to see me. I will never forget that day.

When I was 22, I went away for 9 months to Mexico to work as part of my degree course. I visited at Christmas after 3 months of being away and Reggie was once again really happy to see me. At this point, we only had him and his mum left after my other 2 died previously. When I went back and came home 6 months later, it was really weird how he behaved. I was told he had done the same thing as last time I went away- crying outside my door everyday. But when I came in the house, he would not look at me! His head was turned away from me, but it was like he couldn't resist and just had to be stroked by me so he was pushing his body up against my hand instead of his face how he normally did. After about 10 minutes of trying to ignore me, he decided he couldn't and was all over me for cuddles!

When I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 24, he seemed to be ok with that. I was back at least once a week to see my mum and dad and my babies, so I was still around for him. He was always the same, flopping all over me, cuddling me and kissing me and talking to me. Then last year, just before Christmas, he started to get really thin and just looked so sorry for himself. I took him to the Vet and it turned out he was dying, rather rapidly. I kept my hope alive that he would be ok by paying for more tests but they told me nothing could be done and he was in a lot of pain now. I remember being told it would be better for him if he was put to sleep as it would stop his suffering. I remember going round to see him at my parents and he was just sat on the floor looking so ill and not like he should have been looking. I went round to see him the night before my parents took him to the vets for the last time. It was the most painful experience of my life having to say goodbye to him after we had spent the last 16 years of our lives together. I held him in my arms, crying like a baby and just repeatedly told him how much I loved him and that I was sorry I would not be there. My boss at work had told me I could have taken the day off to take him, but I could not bring myself to be there when he actually died. I really regret that decision now- everyday. I wish I had been there to hold him as he fell asleep, but I can not change that now. It felt like he knew what was up that night before he was due to go. As I held him crying, he just kept gripping me tight with his claws and kept kissing my face softly. I ran home to my boyfriend in floods of tears and actually cried myself to sleep. I know people say that phrase a lot, but I actually wailed so much (my boyfriends exact words!) that I fell asleep from exhaustion. When I woke up my eyelids were twice their normal size, I felt horrific. Then I had to go to work. It got close to his appointment time and then it passed. I knew I would never see him again. I spent that day crying too. (I'm crying now as I recall and write this all down)

My parents buried him in our garden in the flower beds that he loved so much. He used to wander around smelling all the different flowers, then go to sleep amongst them all. I keep a picture on my desk at work which I look at all day long. I have him as my screen saver on the computer at work and at home. It's been well over a year now and I still cry when I look at his pictures sometimes or when I think about him. I honestly don't know when I will be able to stop thinking about him. I can still feel how soft his fur was when I picked him up for a cuddle. I can still remember all the things he did that made us all smile. I have hundreds of photos of him and look through them quite a lot. I know that whatever happens in my life, however many cats I come to love throughout my life, none of them will ever have the same effect on me as Reggie did. I also know that Reggie had one of the cosiest, best and easy lives a cat could ever wish for. He did not want for anything and I am pleased that I was privileged enough to spend so much time with such an amazing animal. If anyone else has ever felt this way about losing a loved pet, I extend my deepest sympethies to you and hope that you can move on whilst never forgetting the wonderful life that you will have shared.